Rev. Hakuun Barnhard, F.O.B.C.
- Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey -

[There was a time when the phrase `old woman' denoted a respect for a lifetime's accumulation of wisdom and skill, of service to the community in all aspects of daily life from birth to death. In modern times the term has become derogatory, signifying that which present day cultures now find difficult - nearly impossible - to accept: the fact of impermanence. The elders of our societies, both men and women, show us that youth, physical strength, "productivity" and "beauty" (when equated with youth) simply do not last and cannot be relied upon. It is the author's hope that the following story 1 and poem 2, both translated from Chinese sources, will not only restore dignity to but point to an even greater understanding encompassed in the term `old woman'. -Editor, Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey.]

Long ago in the Tang dynasty, there lived in the province of Chekiang on the coast, a young man named Hesan. The boy's father had died young without leaving much money, so his mother had to work long days to provide a living for them. The young boy often had to spend the day with others or alone. He used to behave very badly towards his mother, calling her a `useless old woman' and other bad names and sometimes his temper was so unrestrained that he beat her. The old woman never complained. Now, at twenty, Hesan had not yet married, and fortunately, helped contribute to their daily sustenance.

Now off the coast of Chekiang lies the small island of P'u T'o. Many pilgrims go there to pay their respects to or to catch a glimpse of the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin (Avalokiteshwara), who is full of beauty and Great Compassion, whose fame and good deeds are known all over China. Hesan often heard her name and stories of her miraculous works; he usually took them as pilgrims' infatuations-how could such tales be true? But he also grew quite curious, and started looking for a chance to cross the sea and find out for himself whether or not the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin existed.

One day he heard that a neighbour's uncle was to sail with a cargo of pots to the village on P'u T'o Island. At once Hesan asked to come, and he was able to join them in the trip over to the island. There he climbed every mountain and descended into every valley, searching for Kuan Yin. He looked in all the groves and grottos, visited each shrine - but still no sign of the Bodhisattva. Weary and disappointed he lay down on a patch of grass. "Ha! All that talk about a compassionate bodhisattva was just the lies of wicked devils. I've had enough!" he yelled, kicking the air in frustration. Then, being very tired, he fell into a deep sleep while a gentle breeze blew through his hair.

In a dream he met a very old woman in a mountain grove, her face wrinkled with the wrinkles of a hundred years, her hair, silvery as moonlit snow, bound in a small topknot. Leaning on a twisted wooden staff she said, "Hello, Hesan, what brings you here? Why are you kicking the grass?" "Oh, don't talk to me about it!" exclaimed Hesan. "I came all this way to see that famous Bodhisattva Kuan Yin. People say she rides clouds and dragons, and grants us wonderful feelings. I've looked everywhere in these mountains but haven't seen a thing - no sign of the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin anywhere." And he began to sob. "Oh," the old woman asked kindly, "you hoped to find the Bodhisattva?" "Yes, I left my work and my hometown to find her but she is nowhere to be seen." "What a pity," the old woman sighed, "the Bodhisattva has gone out today." "Gone out where?" "She went to your village, Hesan." "To my village? Whatever for?" "Well, the Bodhisattva heard that you had feelings of contrition, that you would like to change into a good-hearted young man, that you even thought of coming to visit her. She was moved, and immediately went on her way this morning. She did not want you to bother making this long journey." "The Bodhisattva went to my house? Is that true?" "Absolutely. So you'd better hurry back home!" "I'll go at once. But - how will I recognise her? What does she look like? I've never seen her before." "Well, that's very simple. When you get home and knock on the door, an old lady will open it. She will not be wearing any shoes and the moonlight will reflect on her white feet. Once you see her, you must bow down quickly to greet her."

When Hesan awoke the sky was dark. Recalling his dream he hurried to the harbour to catch the earliest boat back to the mainland. Once on shore he ran and ran - home, home, home. It was still dark when he knocked wildly on the door, worried that the Bodhisattva might already have left. His mother, awakened by the noise and hearing the voice of her son, quickly went to the door without taking the time to put on her slippers, for she feared Hesan would be angry if he had to wait and might even scold or beat her. When she opened the door the moonlight fell on her white feet. Hesan, seeing this immediately bowed down and touched the ivory feet ten times with his head. "Oh, Bodhisattva! You came, you're here! Oh, Bodhisattva, thank you!" The old woman, greatly astonished, said "Hesan, are you bowing to the Bodhisattva? But this is me, your mother!" "I know you are the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin," answered Hesan, and he did not dare to lift his head. "I am not the Bodhisattva of Compassion, I'm your mother." "What, you're not? You're Mother?" "Yes-tell me what is happening!"

Then Hesan told his mother all about his journey to P'u T'o Island, about meeting the very old, kind woman with the white hair, and what she had said. Then it occurred to him - of course! The old woman herself was a transformation of the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin! She had appeared to help him change his ways towards his mother, his mother who was always kind and never complained. The wise and compassionate Bodhisattva! Hesan and his mother turned towards P'u T'o Island from whence the moon shone down upon them. They bowed down in awe on the hard, cold pavement, feeling only the warmth of Great Compassion.

The term `Old Woman' occurs in a number of Great Master Dogen's Chinese poems, as a metaphor for the Eternal Buddha Nature, the Unborn. The following is one such poem, and I pray that my translation and my brief explanatory notes may do it justice.

When we keep training eventually the flower of the pine branch will bloom. You may say that you have never seen a pine tree with blossoms; these are no ordinary pink or yellow buds springing forth. The spiritual pine branch blooms with the flower of Eternal Meditation. This flower has five petals, five `aspects' which one can know individually as each petal, and all at once as a flower. Rev. Master Jiyu saw these `petals' as columns of light and explains each one in her book How to Grow a Lotus Blossom. The Most Excellent Mirror-Samudhi, one of the scriptures sung daily in temples and monasteries of the Soto Zen tradition, speaks of the `five branches of the diamond sceptre'. To know this blossom, we need to study ourselves thoroughly and follow the Precepts in depth.

Monk's Staff
A monk's staff symbolises the bright, upright mind akin to the upright body in meditation. This mind accepts things as they are, does not find fault with persons or circumstances, nor is it swayed by praise or pride - it is the mind that does not move. All things are in their own true place, undisturbed. This mind is what we can truly lean on, as on a staff. Here the opposites, `crooked and straight', are transcended.

Thunder
When we start Buddhist training we often experience difficulty in listening to, hearing and following the still, small voice of our True Heart. Yet through our perseverance, one day the Voice will thunder and the rain of the Dharma, the Water of the Spirit, will pour in abundance, washing away all dust. Rev. Master Jiyu describes in the Lotus Blossom this cleansing of all notions of self, of attachments and ideas which cause us to feel separate from our True Nature. We are refreshed as if reborn. This new life is the Child of Buddha, the unblemished, energetic life of spring. With the fire of passions extinguished, the air this life breathes will be cool and fresh as a spring breeze. This Baby Buddha must be nurtured in a Womb with all-accepting tenderness, the Tathagata-womb, the Old Woman. It is thanks to Her activity, Her help that all hindrances to a free and fresh life are removed.

The Old Master
In Great Master Dogen's time, a Zen master whether male or female was called an Old Woman if she or he compassionately `fed' their disciples with the Dharma when they were `hungry' and in need of teaching. Such a master was our Founder, Rev. Master Jiyu. We could speak of her as our spiritual mother and father, or for her granddisciples, as grandmother and grandfather. As she was a woman and often referred to herself as an `old monk,' I have recently come to think of her in the honorific used by Dogen - the Old Woman. She lit the way for us on the Dharma road, always pointing beyond the opposites, always sitting on the rock of certainty whether showered with the rain of the Dharma or pounded by waves of karma. She truly had an Old Woman's heart [Chinese: p'o hsin], a soft, accepting, open and compassionate heart. This is not only the kindness of an old grandmother- it is the heart of Truth Itself, the Tathagata-womb, she who embraces all.

1. Kuan-shih-yin P'u Sa, Compassionate Buddha (Educational Children's Books Vol. 2, Taipei, Taiwan, 2521 b.e.), pp. 20 - 25.

2. Okubo Doshu, Dogen Zenji Zenshu, Vol. 2: Dogen Osho Koroku (Tokyo, 1969), p. 187, poem 5.

[The above article was first published in the Summer 1997 issue of The Journal of Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey.]

Subscription Form
Return to Journal of the O. B. C.
Return to O.B.C. Home Page

All contents ©1999 Order of Buddhist Contemplatives
Permission granted to print out for one's personal information, but for no other purpose.